Why do reading glasses vanish?

I used to be very short sighted so had to wear glasses all the time. I recently had my cataracts fixed and in the process my shortsightedness was fixed. All good, but the down side is that it baked in longsightedness and I now need reading glasses. What I really want are varifocals I can just wear all the time, but getting a final eye test etc has been stalled by lockdown and I have been wearing cheapie reading glasses.

Because I can see without them, I don’t immediately notice if they go a missing -and they certainly do….I am now down 3 pairs and it would have been 4 if not for retracing my steps 3 times yesterday and getting lucky.

So the burning question is why do they go missing???

After careful reconsideration of the evidence I have a simple answer. It is because they inexorably make women’s clothes without pockets (or with pockets that are sewn up so you can’t use them (an abomination) or so small one wonders if they are for keeping microchips in). As a result the glasses get perched on the head or hooked over the front of the shirt – highly precarious positions from which they can get whoofed off in a trice. Not immediately needing them, one weeds/walks on and by the time their absence is noted one has been all over.

It is now piddling down with rain and when the rain goes off I have the delightful task of rummaging in the compost bin and grovelling under various flower beds (but with no great hope…). I blame the patriarchy.

The first person to run for high office on a manifesto of “pockets for all” has my vote.