Boxing and Coxing

After the catering marathon that is Christmas Day (we decided to do it the usual way notwithstanding numbers were down), Boxing Day was declared a day of rest (after I had washed the pans). Everyone made their own turkey sandwich of choice for breakfast and Lachlan and I tootled off with Lyra for a walk round the Hirsel the muddy way whilst Keith did his physical jerks.

As ever, we put the world thoroughly to rights and the plan for the first 100 days of the Peoples Republic of Berwickshire are both detailed and absolutely right. As Lachlan remarked, it is a wonder we are not in charge by public acclamation. Key planks of the programme included:

  • Following abolition of the monarchy, salmon fishing rights etc taken into common ownership, existing leases honoured and proceeds diverted into cottage hospitals and local care services
  • Reclaiming of ancestral stately homes (doubtless acquired through sexual misconduct, political misdeeds and/or oppression of the locals) and their repurposing as campuses for an ambitiously expanded Borders college with offerings on local history, agriculture, fishery and sustainability, applied arts and crafts etc. Part of lands to be allocated to allotments and also a community abattoir so there is less need to transport animals a long way for the chop
  • Cannabis legalised and appropriately taxed, revenue applied to addiction services. Consideration to be given to building a bio digester in an outbuilding at Floors Castle and powering greenhouses to grow “Borders Blend” for sale, proceeds to be deployed locally
  • Police decentralised, efforts to be focussed on local requirements by feisty local democracy, including agricultural theft and rustling.
  • Public beanos with bonfires and bands for the summer and winter solstices to cheer us all up

My thought of community charcoal pits in sustainable woodlands so we can also have free barbecues did not initially gather approval, but I am building support

Other policy initiatives are available on request…………

We returned to bubble and squeak and cold cuts. I am planning an evening meal of chocolate marzipan plums and twiglets and have downloaded a new audio book. Normal service may recommence tomorrow, but I couldn’t confirm this with complete certainty.

Have a lovely evening comrades

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