Atmospheric pressure

The dog has been on its holidays (camping with Lachlan and Matthew) and I have been in overdrive. Perhaps it was the windy weather, setting everything astir, but I’ve been a positive tyro the last few days. The larder is in siege mode. Copious pears and apples have been bottled. The freezer is awash with soup and the leftovers from a rather fine roast on Sunday have been be-pied. I also discovered a new bun/bread recipe and have been testing it to destruction. Thus far we have had spiced jam filled ones, chocolate ones, herby savoury ones and rather smart saffron ones. Even the plum vodka and bramble gin (or possibly vodka….I have forgotten) have been filtered and bottled. Clearly, I have been filling the dog walking hours with kneading, stirring and testing (which in the case of the vodka/gin was perhaps unwise before breakfast).

For fear of turning into the Michelin man without the daily yomp I downloaded an exercise app last week. After the first coffee (I am not a savage..) I am devoting myself to American military callisthenics. How these differ from the exercise regime of, say, the French foreign legion or the Gordon Highlanders I cannot say, but at 10 minutes a day I’m willing to give Ulysses S Grant in gym shorts a go. It’s all been feasible so far, aside from the weird one where you are supposed to touch your left foot with your right hand whilst in a position that broadly resembles that of a half opened folding stool. I fall over for that one and, frankly, I fail to see its military application (unless it is to reduce your opponent to fits of helpless laughter). Apparently the app comes with a diet plan but I have not opened that. I do, however, fill in the details of my daily nosh. Without fail the gnomes of appdom sadly shake their pixillated heads and reduce my score from the dizzy heights of 5/5 after lunch to 2/5 after dinner. I could stop owning up to the wine I suppose, but it’s the small acts of blatant disobedience that get you through. I expect by the time my 28 day introductory offer is up I shall be placed on report if not dragged off screaming by the military police.

As well as the morning manoeuvres, I have been getting quite the steps work out. The new library ladder has arrived at last and I have shelved two of the many, many teetering stacks of books lying around the house. This necessitated a bit of a weed out (as the shelves were quite full already) so the Co-op and the Book Group are due for some donations. Desperate measures may need to be deployed – I am thinking of clearing out the Christmas stocking shelves in the Edinburgh Press and dedicating them to gardening books. (Santa will need to make do with space in the bunting coffer). The time is also nigh for the refurbed shower room to be painted and therefore I’ve been running up and down the turret stairs with lino and paint samples, failing to reach any decisions. The every patient Barry has given me till tomorrow lunch time to decide between Cromarty and Shaded White. This has necessitated three trips up today to check in different lights and to apply a second coat just in case. For further strength training, I have begun the thankless task of bulb planting. “Bulbs are not heavy” you may scoff. This is absolutely true, but the barrow loads of weeds, clay and boulders to be removed first and the equivalent barrowloads of compost to be added to replace them before I get started, most definitely are. And does General Grant give me any credit for this??? Well he did add a miserly 250 calories to my (absurd) target intake for “general activity”. Alas, I don’t think this would cover a chocolate bun.